Telling it like it is

I have a few things to get off my chest.  Here goes:

Dear Baby: crawling away from mommy while I change your poopy diaper, is admittedly amusing, but only after the fact.  The terror of poo on the carpet and your pee on mommy's shoes makes this a less-than-fun activity.

Dear Pinterest: enough with the word art crafts.  I don't need a giant "EAT" in my kitchen to know the purpose of the room.

Dear cyclists: I am more than happy to share the road with you.  I'll even give you extra room so everyone feels safe.  However, you endanger yourself when you don't stop at stop signs just so you don't have to put your foot down.  Also automobile driver's respect for you greatly diminishes when you don't obey the rules of the road.

Dear bloggers: If you haven't blogged in eight years, give up your blogspot name to someone who knows what they are doing.  RedDoorBlueSky is fine, but it wasn't my first choice.  I'm talking to you HouseToHome.

Dear bat-shit crazy people I have to interact with on a semi-regular basis: I realize that you are severely socially challenged, so I am going to start treating you as if you have a real medical impairment.  When you make off-the-wall and overtly rude comments, I am going to act as if you had no control over what comes out of your mouth and politely pretend not to notice you said anything.  While this may be perceived as rude, I am not alone as most bystanders are stunned into silence.  Please note that when you try to justify your actions by saying "I was just joking," you are showing that your comments were premeditated and that you don't really have a medical condition.  Instead you just look like an asshole.

Dear previous home owners: You suck.  You didn't know how to paint, but you seemed to mess up everything anyway.  Here's the evidence:
Water based paint over oil based paint doesn't work

Besides the bad color choice, you don't know how to edge. This will be remedied soon now that I'm not preggers and can open doors for ventilation without the arctic vortex coming in.
        Likewise, you didn't know how to wire things correctly, yet you either attempted to do it yourself or hired the cheapest person you could possibly find.  I'm talking about the 12 lights and all the plugs on one switch.  You also went with the cheapest breaker box possible.  This means that we can't add any more circuits without having to replace the whole thing - an expensive fix so you could save a few dollars in the past.

        Speaking of hiring the cheapest person you could find, the giant stump in the yard hasn't decomposed for years & we have to hire someone to grind it down for us.  Your attempt to cover it up with mulch and overgrown shrubbery didn't fool anyone.  The neighbors just judged you from afar.

Sorry readers, my next post will be happier.  Sometimes venting is needed, though.

Here's a picture of Roy to make it up to you.  He wasn't feeling it either: